Analyzing My Teenage As I Turn 20
Part 2: Junior College
Age 16 and 17:
After 10th std, I bought a PS4. On a rainy day, I would snuggle up with the controller and play ‘The Last Of Us’. Brother left for college, Oscar had moved to Thane a few months ago, school was over. The loneliest period of my life was about to begin…
I took admission in PACE Junior College. The fact, that you already know this is going to be a sad story is funny. I decided to write about 16 and 17 at the same time as these ages are just numbers for me. Life was just the same for two long years. I don’t have a lot of memories from this period of my life as every day was literally the same. Classes in the morning and studies in the evening….that's it. This ‘integrated’ system is more or less bullshit. It sucks the life out of you. All work and no play doesn’t make Jack a dull boy, it makes him depressed.
Junior College made me appreciate school to a whole new level. One time, in chemistry lab the Sir asked a question in Hindi and I replied in English ( because my brain had been wired in a way that one shall always converse in English with a teacher) and the expression on his face told me that he thought I was mocking him. Life had gone from ‘ don’t worry students’ to ‘kya load lereyo be’ real quick.
PACE professors would speak Bihari Hindi ‘dialect’ and solve the most difficult of problems as if its childs play. Initially, I loved the challenge but then as the portion of every subject went on increasing breakdowns became common. My brother had done the same course and he got an admission in BITS Goa. PACE divides its students in batches ( batch 1 having the students who score the most and batch 7–8 comprising of the ones who don’t). Also, video conference lectures are the biggest scam ever. My brother had been in Batch 1 all along….and he didn’t go to IIT….and I would keep hopping between batch 3 and 4….so I pretty much knew the scenario. The students around me were completely unaware. Over two years I have overheard many conversations of concerned classmates about which IIT they will ‘choose’ to go to.
“Beggars can’t be choosers.”-A Wise Padwan
Aditya Mennon and Aayushman became close friends as we had the ‘Sulonia Connect’. Ansh and Sarvesh became good friends too. Sushant Sir helped me like a big brother. There was this asshole guy who would play mobile games in the break and yell a lot, which disturbed others. Once Aditya Mennon snatched his phone and threw it across the classroom. That was the most gangsta shiz I’ve seen. So take notes: never irritate Mennon.
One day, in the break, I was reading George RR Martins ‘Clash Of Kings’ and the boy sitting next to me started discussing books. Now, Tanish is in my college class batch as well. He tells me now that he thought I was a sophisticated literature guy ….but then he realized ‘apne jaisa hi chuuutiya hai’.
At the end of two years, after working very hard, after ‘sacrificing’ a lot of outings and concerts and night stays, after a lot of Sandeep Maheshwari videos, I could not clear IIT, I could not clear BITSAT, I almost did but could not clear UCEED and I almost did but could not clear IIM Indore’s IPM interview stage. This ‘almost’ is an amazing word. It's less of a word and more of a shield. It shields you, for some time, from the truth. It fails to shield the world from the truth though. A truth that you shall finally come to accept because it seems to be laughing in your face so hard.
“Mila toh bohot kuch hai zindagi mein par hum ginti usi ki kartey hai jo haasil na ho saka” -Gulzar
This type of education makes you think…….is suicide an option? But everyone around me, including me, knew that my pussy ass is not gonna die before playing ‘The Last Of Us 2’. I would like to say that when life gives you lemons ‘try’ to make lemonade. If you fail once, try to make a lemonade next time. Life keeps on throwing lemons…death does not.
“Aaju baju dekho toh apna dukh bohot kam hai bhai, isliye roootey rehne ka kaam apna nai hai baba.” — Jackie Shroff on Mental Health
Part 3 coming soon
